Not to push

After two weeks of deliberation, we've decided to opt for another c-section. For two weeks, Josh and I did not feel strongly pulled in either direction. It seemed like everyday I changed my mind ... sometimes my mind even changed depending on the time of day :-D.

Ultimately, we weighed all the pros and cons and the decision came down to the choice with the most "knowns". Many things about a successful Vbac seemed to be "unknown": Would it be successful for me?, Is the risk too high?, Would the recovery really be easier?, Is Modesto too far away?, Would the hospital keep their current Vbac policy? -- and on and on.

I know that recovery with c-section won't be easy ... but I'm looking forward to it being easier than before, because this time I won't have the trauma of pushing. I'm also relieved to be able to keep my current Ob practice (in Lodi).

Now our prayer is that we won't second guess our decision. We want to be at peace with c-section. I'm really happy to have this decision made - what a relief!